I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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