i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
