He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
