I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
