if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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