Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
