If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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