i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
