I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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