We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
