Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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