New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
