She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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