You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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