I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
