How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
