She is in my trunk
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
