i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
