You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize