I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
