she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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