All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
