Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
