Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
