please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
