I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
