): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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