Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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