fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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