call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
