I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I am naked and annoyed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
