Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
