How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
