when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
