i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
