It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
