You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
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