Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
