i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
