yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
