is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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