WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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