Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
