New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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