Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
