Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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