I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
