I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
