so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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