rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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