well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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