ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize