I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize