Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
