I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
