Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
