Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
