we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize