Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
